What Do You Say When Someone Shares A Traumatic Experience?

When someone shares a traumatic experience with us, it can be difficult to know how to respond. We may feel overwhelmed, unsure of what to say, or worried about saying the wrong thing. However, it is important to remember that our words and actions can have a significant impact on the person who is sharing their experience.

The following are some tips on what to say when someone shares a traumatic experience:

• Listen attentively. This is the most important thing you can do. Allow the person to share their story without interrupting or trying to change the subject. Make eye contact, nod your head, and use verbal cues like “I understand” or “I’m here for you” to show that you are engaged.
• Validate their feelings. Let the person know that their feelings are normal and understandable. Avoid saying things like “I know how you feel” or “You shouldn’t feel that way.” Instead, focus on reflecting their emotions back to them. For example, you could say, “It sounds like you’re feeling very scared and overwhelmed right now.”
• Offer support. Let the person know that you are there for them and that they are not alone. Offer practical help, such as driving them to a doctor’s appointment or helping them with errands. You can also offer emotional support by simply listening to them, holding their hand, or giving them a hug.
• Avoid giving advice. Unless the person specifically asks for advice, it is best to avoid giving it. Instead, focus on listening and supporting them. If they do ask for advice, be careful not to give unsolicited advice. Instead, offer suggestions and let them decide what they want to do.
• Respect their boundaries. It is important to respect the person’s boundaries and give them space if they need it. Let them know that you are there for them whenever they are ready to talk.

It is also important to be aware of your own reactions when someone shares a traumatic experience with you. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, it is okay to take a break from the conversation. You can also seek support from a friend, family member, or therapist.

Here are some additional tips for supporting someone who has experienced trauma:

• Be patient. It takes time to heal from trauma. Be patient with the person and don’t expect them to “get over it” quickly.
• Be supportive. Let the person know that you are there for them and that they are not alone. Offer practical and emotional support, and respect their boundaries.
• Educate yourself about trauma. Learn about the symptoms of trauma and how to support someone who has experienced it. This will help you to be more understanding and supportive.
• Encourage professional help. If the person is struggling to cope with their trauma, encourage them to seek professional help. A therapist can help them to process their experience and develop coping mechanisms.

Q&A:

• What should I do if someone shares a traumatic experience with me and I don’t know what to say?
  • The most important thing is to listen attentively and validate their feelings. You can also offer support and let them know that you are there for them.
• What should I avoid saying to someone who has experienced trauma?
  • Avoid saying things like “I know how you feel” or “You shouldn’t feel that way.” Instead, focus on reflecting their emotions back to them and offering support.
• How can I support someone who is struggling to cope with trauma?
  • Be patient, supportive, and understanding. Encourage them to seek professional help if they are struggling to cope.
• What are some resources that can help me learn more about trauma?
  • The National Center for PTSD: https://www.ptsd.va.gov/
  • The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): https://www.samhsa.gov/
• What should I do if I am overwhelmed by someone’s traumatic experience?
  • It is okay to take a break from the conversation if you are feeling overwhelmed. You can also seek support from a friend, family member, or therapist.